1
00:00:01,136 --> 00:00:02,885
? Summer breeze ?

2
00:00:02,886 --> 00:00:05,885
? Makes me feel fine ?

3
00:00:05,985 --> 00:00:08,825
? Blowin� through the jasmine
in my mind ?

4
00:00:08,826 --> 00:00:11,553
ADULT MARK (V.O.):
The last summer

5
00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:13,424
before my last year
of high school.

6
00:00:13,524 --> 00:00:15,163
Pure, indulgent laziness.

7
00:00:16,663 --> 00:00:18,503
-Frig�s sake, Rip Van Winkle!

8
00:00:18,504 --> 00:00:19,862
Haul yourself up outta bed.

9
00:00:19,863 --> 00:00:22,462
-It�s summer holidays, Mom!

10
00:00:22,562 --> 00:00:25,232
This is what summer�s for.
Sleeping in.

11
00:00:25,332 --> 00:00:27,801
-Lazy as a cut dog.

12
00:00:27,901 --> 00:00:30,141
I knew I should have made you
get a summer job.

13
00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:31,481
-I have a job.

14
00:00:31,571 --> 00:00:33,670
I�m an artist.

15
00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:36,300
I need to keep my mind empty
to let the inspiration

16
00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:37,880
come through my brain.

17
00:00:37,980 --> 00:00:41,249
-Well, my foot is about
to come through your arse

18
00:00:41,349 --> 00:00:43,519
if you don�t get up!

19
00:00:43,619 --> 00:00:47,088
[Seals and Crofts,
"Summer Breeze"]

20
00:00:47,188 --> 00:00:49,958
 ? So I walk on
up to the doorstep ?

21
00:00:50,058 --> 00:00:53,227
{\an8} ? Through the screen
and across the floor ?

22
00:00:53,327 --> 00:00:55,527
{\an8}?

23
00:00:55,627 --> 00:01:00,536
{\an8} ? Summer breeze
makes me feel fine ?

24
00:01:00,626 --> 00:01:03,225
{\an8} -Oh, uh,
I didn�t know we had company.

25
00:01:03,335 --> 00:01:05,775
{\an8}Uh, gentlemen.

26
00:01:05,776 --> 00:01:07,804
{\an8}Sorry I haven�t dressed yet.
It�s, uh...

27
00:01:07,805 --> 00:01:09,704
{\an8}summer holidays.

28
00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:11,874
{\an8}-It�s just the lads
from the club.

29
00:01:11,974 --> 00:01:14,674
{\an8} We�re getting
a booth at the Regatta.

30
00:01:15,673 --> 00:01:17,413
{\an8}-Wait...

31
00:01:17,513 --> 00:01:19,213
{\an8}it�s the Regatta today?

32
00:01:19,214 --> 00:01:21,581
{\an8}TV: ...St. John�s, Newfoundland
is now waiting to hear

33
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,722
{\an8}if the Regatta is a go.

34
00:01:23,812 --> 00:01:25,132
{\an8}-I hate the Regatta.

35
00:01:26,382 --> 00:01:28,551
{\an8} -Augh...
Blasphemy!

36
00:01:28,552 --> 00:01:30,450
{\an8}You know, the Regatta�s
the biggest day

37
00:01:30,451 --> 00:01:31,990
{\an8}of the Newfoundland summer.

38
00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:34,259
{\an8}-What are you pouring out
my good juice for?

39
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,760
{\an8}-Oh, I need the bottle
for the bottle toss.

40
00:01:36,761 --> 00:01:38,859
{\an8}-Well, drink it first,
you old coot!

41
00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:40,559
{\an8}-What, with my bladder?

42
00:01:40,659 --> 00:01:42,229
{\an8}-Geez!

43
00:01:42,230 --> 00:01:43,598
{\an8}-[chuckles]
Here!

44
00:01:43,599 --> 00:01:45,368
{\an8}-Oh, that�s a nice one, Pat!

45
00:01:47,468 --> 00:01:49,868
{\an8}MARY: Are those my good vases?

46
00:01:49,869 --> 00:01:51,466
{\an8}Where are my flowers?!

47
00:01:51,467 --> 00:01:53,307
{\an8}-Oh, well, they�ll grow back.

48
00:01:53,407 --> 00:01:54,457
{\an8}-Oh my...

49
00:01:54,477 --> 00:01:55,527
God!

50
00:01:56,707 --> 00:01:58,376
Give me this.

51
00:01:58,476 --> 00:01:59,846
-Here, blow that up.

52
00:01:59,946 --> 00:02:01,416
-I suffer from asthma.

53
00:02:01,516 --> 00:02:04,815
-Oh, breath enough to talk,
breath enough to blow.

54
00:02:05,985 --> 00:02:07,485
Lazy as a cut dog.

55
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:09,054
-That is what I said!

56
00:02:09,154 --> 00:02:11,094
-Alright, go easy!
Slow.

57
00:02:11,184 --> 00:02:13,784
Just...
I wanted it blown up halfway.

58
00:02:13,894 --> 00:02:16,793
-Why?
-Ancient carnie secret.

59
00:02:16,893 --> 00:02:18,023
Here, I�ll show you.

60
00:02:19,163 --> 00:02:21,562
Ladies and gentlemen,
step right up!

61
00:02:21,662 --> 00:02:22,962
Here, Madam.

62
00:02:23,062 --> 00:02:25,862
Pop the balloon with this dart
and win a prize.

63
00:02:25,972 --> 00:02:28,441
-Oh!
-[chuckles]

64
00:02:28,531 --> 00:02:29,631
POP: Aw!

65
00:02:29,632 --> 00:02:31,270
-Oh, you frigger!
That�s rigged!

66
00:02:31,271 --> 00:02:32,611
-Damn right it is.

67
00:02:32,711 --> 00:02:35,510
Here.
Consolation prize.

68
00:02:35,610 --> 00:02:36,750
-That�s my teddy bear!

69
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,080
-Oh, grow up!

70
00:02:41,249 --> 00:02:43,919
-Ah, don�t they call it off
if it�s too windy?

71
00:02:44,019 --> 00:02:45,459
It�s blowin� a gale out there.

72
00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:47,887
-Who plans a holiday
around Newfoundland weather?

73
00:02:47,888 --> 00:02:49,388
I got work to do.

74
00:02:49,389 --> 00:02:50,717
-What are you doing, Mom?

75
00:02:50,718 --> 00:02:53,257
-The Tourism Department
has me manning...

76
00:02:53,357 --> 00:02:54,407
[clears throat]

77
00:02:54,427 --> 00:02:57,396
womaning a booth,
for the big Come Home Year.

78
00:02:57,496 --> 00:02:59,296
It�s called "Soiree."

79
00:02:59,297 --> 00:03:02,095
I�m drawing in the tourists
for the cod-kissing booth.

80
00:03:02,096 --> 00:03:03,995
-Arse-kissing booth, more like.

81
00:03:04,095 --> 00:03:07,295
The last thing we need
at the Regatta is mainlanders.

82
00:03:07,296 --> 00:03:09,273
MIKE SR: [radio] Regatta Day
in the capital city.

83
00:03:09,274 --> 00:03:11,073
-Oh, they�re making the call!
-Yeah!

84
00:03:11,074 --> 00:03:12,503
MIKE SR: In just a few moments,

85
00:03:12,504 --> 00:03:13,973
officials will decide
if the Regatta

86
00:03:13,974 --> 00:03:16,213
is a go, or no.

87
00:03:16,313 --> 00:03:19,953
Stay tuned to VOCM,
your Regatta station,

88
00:03:20,043 --> 00:03:23,382
brought to you by Wild Bologna.

89
00:03:23,482 --> 00:03:24,752
[zany music playing]

90
00:03:24,753 --> 00:03:27,380
DICK: [recording] Listen for
the call of the Wild Bologna!

91
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,581
[mimics turkey call]

92
00:03:28,691 --> 00:03:31,031
-So, is the Regatta on, Dad?

93
00:03:31,121 --> 00:03:33,411
-Uh, patience.
We�ll know in just a minute now.

94
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:35,770
-Well, it better go.
I�m too drunk to be workin�.

95
00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:37,100
Hello, beer tent!

96
00:03:42,399 --> 00:03:44,499
-Mike Critch, VOCM News.

97
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:45,649
I understand.

98
00:03:45,738 --> 00:03:46,868
Thank you.

99
00:03:48,598 --> 00:03:50,098
-What�s the word?
We on?

100
00:03:51,968 --> 00:03:56,746
DICK: [recording] VOCM,
your Regatta station,

101
00:03:56,747 --> 00:03:59,446
brought to you by Wild Bologna.

102
00:03:59,546 --> 00:04:01,716
Oh, some shockin� size.

103
00:04:01,717 --> 00:04:03,584
-This is Mike Critch
with the official call

104
00:04:03,585 --> 00:04:06,055
of the Royal St. John�s
Regatta Committee.

105
00:04:06,155 --> 00:04:08,725
I know many listeners
are very anxious to learn

106
00:04:08,824 --> 00:04:11,294
if the Regatta is a go, or no.

107
00:04:11,295 --> 00:04:15,522
Some may even have started
partying a little bit too soon.

108
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:18,423
For others, the Regatta
is nothing more than

109
00:04:18,523 --> 00:04:20,363
a poor man�s casino.

110
00:04:20,463 --> 00:04:23,362
Now, luckily,
today is a beautiful, sunny day.

111
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:27,731
But sunshine
has nothing to do with it.

112
00:04:27,831 --> 00:04:29,271
-Argh...!

113
00:04:29,272 --> 00:04:32,170
-The Regatta Committee have
checked the official windsock,

114
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:34,370
and, unfortunately for some...

115
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,450
the Regatta is...

116
00:04:38,451 --> 00:04:39,578
a go!

117
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:41,479
[all cheering]

118
00:04:41,579 --> 00:04:43,139
-Happy Regatta Day, everyone!

119
00:04:43,919 --> 00:04:45,118
-Enjoy, everyone!

120
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,968
I�m just gonna
kick back in the tub

121
00:04:46,969 --> 00:04:48,387
with an Archie Double Digest.

122
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,518
Good night!

123
00:04:49,519 --> 00:04:50,687
ADULT MARK (V.O.): Summer.

124
00:04:50,688 --> 00:04:52,057
That magical time...

125
00:04:52,157 --> 00:04:54,327
-Lazy as a cut dog.

126
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:56,995
 ADULT MARK (V.O.): ...when
laziness finds respectability.

127
00:04:56,996 --> 00:04:59,636
[traditional Newfoundland music]

128
00:04:59,726 --> 00:05:02,696
?

129
00:05:02,697 --> 00:05:04,364
MIKE JR: That was
the summer student.

130
00:05:04,365 --> 00:05:06,775
She called in drunk.
Said she can�t wear the suit.

131
00:05:06,865 --> 00:05:07,965
-What suit?

132
00:05:08,065 --> 00:05:10,604
-The Bursey Meats
Wild Bologna man.

133
00:05:10,704 --> 00:05:13,604
-That�s a mouthful.
-Which is one of their slogans.

134
00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,073
They�re the sponsor.

135
00:05:15,074 --> 00:05:17,012
Where am I gonna find
someone free to work

136
00:05:17,013 --> 00:05:18,273
this late on Regatta Day?

137
00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:22,682
-Ah...!

138
00:05:22,782 --> 00:05:24,052
-Where�s your mudder?

139
00:05:25,312 --> 00:05:27,211
-At the Regatta with Pop.
Why?

140
00:05:27,321 --> 00:05:28,661
-I need someone to work it.

141
00:05:28,751 --> 00:05:30,021
-I wish I could help.

142
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,521
-Lazy as a cut dog.

143
00:05:31,522 --> 00:05:33,659
You know, this is your
last year of high school.

144
00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:35,859
How the hell do you plan
on supporting yourself?

145
00:05:35,860 --> 00:05:37,960
-I�ll act.
-You�re gonna need a day job.

146
00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:39,929
People who have nets
fall into a net.

147
00:05:40,029 --> 00:05:42,999
Unlike you, I believe in myself.

148
00:05:43,099 --> 00:05:45,449
-I believe in the value
of an honest day�s work.

149
00:05:46,698 --> 00:05:49,228
Now who am I gonna get
to wear that bloody costume?

150
00:05:50,608 --> 00:05:52,077
-Costume?

151
00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:53,917
-It pays 50 bucks.

152
00:05:54,007 --> 00:05:56,906
-I... I mean,
it is acting, technically.

153
00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:00,106
-Congratulations.

154
00:06:00,216 --> 00:06:02,216
You just got yourself
a summer job.

155
00:06:05,655 --> 00:06:10,194
?

156
00:06:10,284 --> 00:06:12,454
-I wonder what a Wild Bologna
sounds like.

157
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:13,693
-[mimics turkey call]

158
00:06:13,694 --> 00:06:15,762
Everyone knows the call
of the Wild Bologna, b�y.

159
00:06:15,763 --> 00:06:18,192
-Dick, we know that
Wild Bologna�s not real, right?

160
00:06:18,193 --> 00:06:20,991
-That�s what everyone says until
they get lost in the woods.

161
00:06:20,992 --> 00:06:22,631
-Well, you�d know.
You�re, like, uh...

162
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:23,902
what, 90% bologna?

163
00:06:24,002 --> 00:06:26,202
-Shut up!
-Enough!

164
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,741
Being a bologna is serious.

165
00:06:28,742 --> 00:06:30,500
If you want to
follow your dreams,

166
00:06:30,501 --> 00:06:31,540
you need to show me

167
00:06:31,541 --> 00:06:33,680
that you can wake up
every now and then.

168
00:06:33,770 --> 00:06:34,970
You�re almost grown.

169
00:06:35,070 --> 00:06:36,200
Start acting like it.

170
00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:38,480
-By acting like a bologna?

171
00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:40,119
-Exactly.

172
00:06:40,209 --> 00:06:41,609
Glad we had this little talk.

173
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:45,687
ADULT MARK (V.O.): Every part,
no matter how small,

174
00:06:45,688 --> 00:06:47,358
was a chance to ply my craft.

175
00:06:49,818 --> 00:06:50,868
-Good morning.

176
00:06:52,827 --> 00:06:54,327
You think you can dissect me?

177
00:06:54,328 --> 00:06:58,295
You know what you look like
with your wax casing

178
00:06:58,296 --> 00:07:00,166
and your Mickey Mouse gloves?

179
00:07:01,666 --> 00:07:04,465
[inhales deeply]

180
00:07:04,565 --> 00:07:05,935
You look like lunch.

181
00:07:06,035 --> 00:07:09,604
Cut thick or thin
depending on one�s taste.

182
00:07:09,704 --> 00:07:11,104
Or lack thereof.

183
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:18,183
You�re nothin� more than
a treat for white trash.

184
00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:21,152
Bologna.

185
00:07:21,242 --> 00:07:23,342
That�s Italian, isn�t it?

186
00:07:23,452 --> 00:07:27,021
But that accent you�ve tried
so desperately to shed...

187
00:07:27,121 --> 00:07:29,261
is German.

188
00:07:29,351 --> 00:07:30,751
What does your father do?

189
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,451
Was he a frankfurter?
No?

190
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,590
Austrian.

191
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,160
He�s a small man, Viennese.

192
00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:40,610
Packed tight in a can
with his sweaty brothers.

193
00:07:42,469 --> 00:07:45,008
A Vienna sausage
once tried to test me.

194
00:07:47,398 --> 00:07:51,237
I ate him with a handful of
ketchup chips and a nice...

195
00:07:52,707 --> 00:07:54,107
cold Pepsi.

196
00:07:57,306 --> 00:07:59,706
-[hissing slurp]
-[dramatic music]

197
00:07:59,816 --> 00:08:01,156
[horn honking]

198
00:08:01,246 --> 00:08:06,255
[marching band music]

199
00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:11,264
?

200
00:08:11,354 --> 00:08:16,263
?

201
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:20,133
?

202
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,302
WOMAN: Yeah!

203
00:08:21,392 --> 00:08:25,862
?

204
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:31,881
?

205
00:08:31,971 --> 00:08:37,210
?

206
00:08:37,211 --> 00:08:39,648
-We�ll call the races from
the arse end of the pond, b�y.

207
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:40,699
You stay here.

208
00:08:40,779 --> 00:08:41,829
-You sure?

209
00:08:41,830 --> 00:08:43,178
MIKE JR: Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

210
00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:45,017
This stuff�s heavy.
We�ll need the two of us.

211
00:08:45,018 --> 00:08:48,018
-That�s mighty kind of ya.
I admire your work ethic, son.

212
00:08:48,019 --> 00:08:50,756
-You thinkin� what I�m thinkin�?

213
00:08:50,757 --> 00:08:53,057
-Beer tent, baby!
-Yiss!

214
00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:54,417
-Mark, will you come out?

215
00:08:54,487 --> 00:08:56,427
The first race
is about to start!

216
00:08:56,526 --> 00:08:57,576
-Uh... yeah.

217
00:09:00,326 --> 00:09:02,765
-Oh!
That fits great.

218
00:09:02,865 --> 00:09:05,335
-I�m having... second thoughts.

219
00:09:05,435 --> 00:09:07,125
-All you have to do
is walk around

220
00:09:07,205 --> 00:09:08,844
and pass out a few free bologna.

221
00:09:08,934 --> 00:09:10,734
Who doesn�t love a free bologna?

222
00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:12,204
Now try on the head.

223
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:18,013
?

224
00:09:18,113 --> 00:09:20,083
-The head smells like feet.

225
00:09:20,183 --> 00:09:21,822
I can�t see!

226
00:09:21,912 --> 00:09:23,082
God...

227
00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:25,211
-Well, if you could see
yourself the way I do,

228
00:09:25,212 --> 00:09:27,151
you�d be mighty proud, son.

229
00:09:27,251 --> 00:09:29,021
It�s what�s inside that counts.

230
00:09:29,121 --> 00:09:31,561
You know what�s inside
a bologna?

231
00:09:31,651 --> 00:09:32,850
-Lips and arseholes.

232
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,160
-Guts!

233
00:09:34,260 --> 00:09:35,930
So, be proud of yourself, son.

234
00:09:36,030 --> 00:09:38,769
And, uh, put your mask back on.

235
00:09:43,599 --> 00:09:45,038
-Hey, Mr. Critch!

236
00:09:45,039 --> 00:09:48,237
ADULT MARK (V.O.): My girlfriend
couldn�t see me like this!

237
00:09:48,238 --> 00:09:49,308
It was all bad enough.

238
00:09:49,408 --> 00:09:51,307
 I had to do
whatever it took to...

239
00:09:51,407 --> 00:09:52,947
-What�s with the big wiener?

240
00:09:53,037 --> 00:09:55,007
-Oh, that�s not a wiener, Fox.

241
00:09:55,107 --> 00:09:57,276
That there... is a bologna.

242
00:09:57,376 --> 00:10:00,046
Mark, your girlfriend is here!

243
00:10:02,116 --> 00:10:03,215
-[sighs]

244
00:10:03,315 --> 00:10:05,005
ADULT MARK (V.O.): So much
for that.

245
00:10:09,454 --> 00:10:10,524
POP: Step right up!

246
00:10:10,624 --> 00:10:11,894
Try your luck!

247
00:10:11,984 --> 00:10:14,124
We have the biggest prizes
on the lake.

248
00:10:14,224 --> 00:10:15,993
Yes, sir, what can I do you for?

249
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:17,493
Oh, here you go, sir.

250
00:10:17,593 --> 00:10:19,593
MARY: Look at
this delicious cod!

251
00:10:19,693 --> 00:10:21,962
He wants a kiss!

252
00:10:22,062 --> 00:10:24,162
-Kiss the cod
and get a Soiree button.

253
00:10:24,262 --> 00:10:26,232
Who wants to kiss the cod?

254
00:10:26,332 --> 00:10:27,731
POP: Step right up!

255
00:10:27,831 --> 00:10:30,171
A quarter will buy you any game.

256
00:10:30,271 --> 00:10:31,871
Step right up.
Come on!

257
00:10:31,971 --> 00:10:33,140
-Kiss the cod!

258
00:10:33,141 --> 00:10:34,209
POP: Try your luck...

259
00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:35,510
-Tell your friends!

260
00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:37,710
POP: Step right up!
Try your luck!

261
00:10:37,810 --> 00:10:38,950
-Well, I�ll take a kiss.

262
00:10:38,979 --> 00:10:41,179
-Oh...

263
00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:43,419
-What�s this?
-The cod you kiss!

264
00:10:43,519 --> 00:10:46,258
-I thought I was kissin� you.
-Oh, yes, b�y.

265
00:10:46,348 --> 00:10:48,688
I wouldn�t kiss you
with his lips.

266
00:10:48,788 --> 00:10:50,927
Frig off!

267
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:52,217
POP: Spin the wheel!

268
00:10:52,317 --> 00:10:53,857
[wheel clicking]

269
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:56,157
�Round and �round she goes!

270
00:10:56,257 --> 00:10:59,956
Where she lands, God only knows!

271
00:11:00,066 --> 00:11:01,566
MARK: Want a free bologna?

272
00:11:01,666 --> 00:11:03,865
-Mark?

273
00:11:03,965 --> 00:11:05,035
-Surprise!

274
00:11:05,135 --> 00:11:06,905
-You said you hated the Regatta.

275
00:11:07,005 --> 00:11:08,704
-I do.

276
00:11:08,804 --> 00:11:12,144
Everything the Regatta
stands for, I stand against.

277
00:11:12,234 --> 00:11:13,934
Sports.
The outdoors.

278
00:11:14,044 --> 00:11:15,743
-Fun?

279
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,083
Dad says I�m lazy.

280
00:11:17,173 --> 00:11:18,973
But I�ll show him.

281
00:11:19,083 --> 00:11:21,282
I�m going to become the bologna.

282
00:11:21,382 --> 00:11:22,682
-Sorry, it just...

283
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:25,082
I never thought I could
get you to the Regatta.

284
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:26,850
I know this is
very serious work,

285
00:11:26,851 --> 00:11:29,051
but maybe we could
play some games later?

286
00:11:29,151 --> 00:11:31,251
I�ll win you a stuffed animal?

287
00:11:31,252 --> 00:11:32,719
-You�re not embarrassed of me?

288
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:33,770
-Me?
No.

289
00:11:35,790 --> 00:11:36,840
No, this is like...

290
00:11:36,890 --> 00:11:39,329
88th most embarrassing thing
you�ve ever done.

291
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:42,539
BRAD: Give me that, loser!

292
00:11:42,629 --> 00:11:44,468
GIRL: Hey!

293
00:11:44,568 --> 00:11:45,618
[laughter]

294
00:11:47,038 --> 00:11:48,408
Put your hat back on.
Quick.

295
00:11:50,507 --> 00:11:52,947
MARK: I thought
you weren�t embarrassed!

296
00:11:53,037 --> 00:11:55,237
[laughter]

297
00:11:55,337 --> 00:11:57,536
-Look at the big wiener!

298
00:11:57,646 --> 00:11:58,696
-Bologna.

299
00:12:00,016 --> 00:12:01,816
I know.
Stupid, right?

300
00:12:01,817 --> 00:12:02,914
-It�s a wild bologna.

301
00:12:02,915 --> 00:12:03,965
-Let�s fry him up!

302
00:12:03,985 --> 00:12:06,255
MARK: Oh!
Ah...

303
00:12:06,355 --> 00:12:08,324
-What a loser!
[laughs]

304
00:12:08,414 --> 00:12:09,684
-Yeah... loser!

305
00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:10,883
[quietly]
I�m sorry!

306
00:12:10,884 --> 00:12:12,753
ADULT MARK (V.O.): I was
starting to rethink

307
00:12:12,754 --> 00:12:14,493
my acting career.

308
00:12:14,494 --> 00:12:15,492
MARK: Oh!

309
00:12:15,493 --> 00:12:17,063
[in goofy voice]
Hey, fellas!

310
00:12:17,163 --> 00:12:19,833
Can I offer you
a free Wild Bologna?

311
00:12:19,933 --> 00:12:21,232
-I wants one!

312
00:12:21,332 --> 00:12:22,382
MARK: Oh...

313
00:12:22,853 --> 00:12:24,931
[quietly]
Yeah...

314
00:12:24,932 --> 00:12:26,300
-To smack ya in the bird with!

315
00:12:26,301 --> 00:12:27,571
-[thud]
-Ah!

316
00:12:27,671 --> 00:12:28,971
[laughter]

317
00:12:29,071 --> 00:12:30,811
-Stop!

318
00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:32,031
Are you okay?

319
00:12:32,141 --> 00:12:34,010
-I�m okay.
I have padding.

320
00:12:34,110 --> 00:12:36,080
-I want a turn!
-No, okay...

321
00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:37,620
No.
Oh...

322
00:12:37,621 --> 00:12:39,648
-[Mark groaning]
-Okay, guys, enough!

323
00:12:39,649 --> 00:12:42,019
-[smacking and laughter]
-[Mark groaning]

324
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:43,609
-Okay, okay!
-Get him!

325
00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:46,318
?

326
00:12:46,418 --> 00:12:47,858
FOX: Guys, enough!

327
00:12:47,948 --> 00:12:50,387
[smacking and laughter]

328
00:12:50,487 --> 00:12:53,027
?

329
00:12:53,127 --> 00:12:54,177
MARK: Okay...
Ah...

330
00:12:54,227 --> 00:12:55,997
-Get him!
-[laughter]

331
00:12:56,097 --> 00:12:57,536
-Leave him alone!

332
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:04,365
[lively music]

333
00:13:04,465 --> 00:13:05,765
-He won�t last a day.

334
00:13:07,235 --> 00:13:09,404
-Step right up, try your luck!

335
00:13:09,504 --> 00:13:11,644
A quarter will buy you any game!

336
00:13:11,734 --> 00:13:13,934
Three for a dollar,
how about that?

337
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:17,883
Here...
This is all for charity.

338
00:13:17,973 --> 00:13:19,343
And charity begins at home.

339
00:13:22,582 --> 00:13:24,522
Step right up, try your luck!

340
00:13:25,682 --> 00:13:29,121
Oh, speaking of which,
are you having any?

341
00:13:29,221 --> 00:13:31,161
-No, you�re taking
all my customers!

342
00:13:31,251 --> 00:13:32,350
-Yeah, of course I am,

343
00:13:32,351 --> 00:13:34,459
because you don�t have
any bloody prizes!

344
00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:36,100
I have got Soiree buttons,

345
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,689
which I have got to get rid of
or I�ll lose my packin� job.

346
00:13:39,799 --> 00:13:40,849
-Yeah, sure...

347
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:44,668
Hey, I got customers.

348
00:13:44,768 --> 00:13:46,108
Yes, sir, please.

349
00:13:46,198 --> 00:13:47,938
Ah, just a dollar�s worth?

350
00:13:48,038 --> 00:13:50,777
Sir, thank you, thank you.
Thank you very much.

351
00:13:50,867 --> 00:13:52,007
Alright, all the best!

352
00:13:52,107 --> 00:13:53,877
Here we go!

353
00:13:53,977 --> 00:13:55,417
Just pop the balloon.

354
00:13:55,507 --> 00:13:57,246
Oh!
Unlucky, unlucky.

355
00:13:57,346 --> 00:13:58,816
Try again.

356
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:00,036
Yes!

357
00:14:00,146 --> 00:14:02,315
Oh, so close!

358
00:14:04,015 --> 00:14:05,385
Oh!
You wanna try again?

359
00:14:09,684 --> 00:14:11,424
That�ll be a dollar.
Thank you.

360
00:14:11,524 --> 00:14:14,463
-[quietly] Jesus.
-Can I give you change?

361
00:14:14,464 --> 00:14:17,322
-Mike Critch, lakeside
for the Royal St. John�s Regatta

362
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,293
brought to you by Wild Bologna.

363
00:14:19,393 --> 00:14:21,062
That�s Wild, b�y.

364
00:14:21,063 --> 00:14:22,161
[starting pistol fires]

365
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,261
MIKE SR: And they�re off!

366
00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:24,631
Strand Lounge crew
is in the lead

367
00:14:24,632 --> 00:14:26,031
followed bythe
Duke of Duckworth shell.

368
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,900
Then we have the Republic,
and in the rear,

369
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,940
we have Stella�s
Vegetarian Restaurant.

370
00:14:29,941 --> 00:14:33,080
Maybe they should try
some Wild Bologna.

371
00:14:33,170 --> 00:14:36,610
[distant laughter]

372
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,509
-Get him, brother!
-Stop friggin� chasin� me!

373
00:14:39,609 --> 00:14:41,609
-[laughter]
-Oof!

374
00:14:41,709 --> 00:14:43,209
MIDDLE FOX: Wild Bologna!

375
00:14:43,319 --> 00:14:45,788
[lively music]

376
00:14:45,888 --> 00:14:49,788
MIDDLE FOX: Look at
the soggy wiener!

377
00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:53,227
-And you can get your bologna
from the Wild Bologna himself.

378
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:54,997
He�s lakeside...

379
00:14:55,087 --> 00:14:56,486
workin� very hard indeed.

380
00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,636
?

381
00:14:58,726 --> 00:14:59,776
-Get him!

382
00:14:59,777 --> 00:15:03,794
MIKE SR: Strand Lounge
is still in the lead

383
00:15:03,795 --> 00:15:05,494
as I turn things over
to Dick Dunphy

384
00:15:05,495 --> 00:15:06,835
on the other end.
Dick?

385
00:15:06,935 --> 00:15:10,704
[laidback rock music
playing in tent]

386
00:15:10,804 --> 00:15:12,804
Dick...?

387
00:15:12,904 --> 00:15:15,873
 Dick Dunphy,
how are things on your end?

388
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:21,812
-Dick!
-[mic feedback]

389
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:28,251
-This is Mike Campbell on
the other end of the lake, Dad.

390
00:15:28,351 --> 00:15:31,321
Mike. And things are
lookin� great over here.

391
00:15:31,421 --> 00:15:33,190
[mic feedback]

392
00:15:33,290 --> 00:15:36,030
The first boat is in the lead,

393
00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:38,599
with the second boat
following close behind.

394
00:15:38,689 --> 00:15:42,129
The third boat, of course,
ahead of the fourth.

395
00:15:42,229 --> 00:15:45,098
And- and they-
they are...

396
00:15:45,198 --> 00:15:46,248
rowin�!

397
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:47,497
They are really rowin� now.

398
00:15:47,498 --> 00:15:49,868
They are rowin� hard and fast.

399
00:15:49,968 --> 00:15:52,767
And the first boat
is in the lead.

400
00:15:52,877 --> 00:15:56,047
Gonna send it back to you, Dad.
Uh, Mike.

401
00:15:56,146 --> 00:15:57,446
-That was wicked, buddy.

402
00:15:57,447 --> 00:15:59,445
Couldn�t have done it
better me�self!

403
00:15:59,446 --> 00:16:01,986
-Yeah.
Probably get back to work, huh?

404
00:16:02,075 --> 00:16:03,125
-Beer first?

405
00:16:04,445 --> 00:16:06,445
-I�m good.

406
00:16:06,555 --> 00:16:09,094
-You takes after your old man.

407
00:16:09,184 --> 00:16:12,554
 ? Whatever you do,
don�t say it�s over... ?

408
00:16:14,744 --> 00:16:16,692
-Split up!

409
00:16:16,693 --> 00:16:18,693
[fast-paced, playful music]

410
00:16:18,793 --> 00:16:23,762
?

411
00:16:23,862 --> 00:16:28,631
-[panting]

412
00:16:28,731 --> 00:16:31,301
?

413
00:16:31,401 --> 00:16:32,530
Oh, this reeks!

414
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,519
Okay.
Oh, I�m starved.

415
00:16:41,949 --> 00:16:42,999
Mmm.

416
00:16:45,118 --> 00:16:48,388
[dog snarling]

417
00:16:48,488 --> 00:16:50,127
[dog barking]

418
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:51,487
-Oh...
[laughs nervously]

419
00:16:51,557 --> 00:16:53,067
This is not
what it looks like.

420
00:16:53,157 --> 00:16:55,357
It�s not cannibalism.

421
00:16:55,457 --> 00:16:56,996
I�m not actually a bologna.

422
00:16:56,997 --> 00:16:58,125
I�m a boy!

423
00:16:58,126 --> 00:16:59,296
You want this, okay?

424
00:16:59,396 --> 00:17:00,496
No problem.

425
00:17:00,596 --> 00:17:04,535
[suspenseful music]

426
00:17:04,635 --> 00:17:07,175
[Huey Lewis and the News,
"Workin� for a Livin�"]

427
00:17:07,265 --> 00:17:11,064
?

428
00:17:11,174 --> 00:17:12,514
MARK: Oh, good boy.

429
00:17:12,604 --> 00:17:15,203
I�m sorry, buddy, but I...

430
00:17:15,303 --> 00:17:16,773
I got a job to do!

431
00:17:16,873 --> 00:17:19,713
? Some days won�t end ever,
and some days pass on by ?

432
00:17:19,813 --> 00:17:22,852
? I�ll be working here forever,
at least until I die ?

433
00:17:22,952 --> 00:17:25,692
 ? Damned if you do,
damned if you don�t ?

434
00:17:25,693 --> 00:17:27,720
? I�m supposed to get a raise
next week ?

435
00:17:27,721 --> 00:17:29,321
? You know damn well I won�t ?

436
00:17:29,421 --> 00:17:31,861
? Workin� for a livin�
(Workin�) ?

437
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,350
? Workin� for a livin�
(Workin�) ?

438
00:17:34,460 --> 00:17:35,510
MARK: Give it back!

439
00:17:36,090 --> 00:17:37,830
Please...

440
00:17:37,831 --> 00:17:38,888
Good doggy...

441
00:17:38,889 --> 00:17:40,089
Good doggy!

442
00:17:40,199 --> 00:17:41,249
Come on.

443
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,838
-Free kisses?
Free kisses from the cod?

444
00:17:51,907 --> 00:17:55,407
Aw...
The slightly defrosted cod.

445
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:56,976
Gross.

446
00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,576
I guess I can�t blame anybody
for not wanting kisses from you.

447
00:18:00,676 --> 00:18:02,345
Selling fish, Mrs. Critch?

448
00:18:02,445 --> 00:18:04,815
-I�m not selling anything,
Jennifer.

449
00:18:04,915 --> 00:18:07,805
I have got the worst booth
in this whole friggin� Regatta.

450
00:18:09,684 --> 00:18:12,184
-Ah, we have a winner!

451
00:18:13,524 --> 00:18:15,523
Oh, surprise package!

452
00:18:15,623 --> 00:18:17,093
Oh, here we are.
[chuckles]

453
00:18:20,492 --> 00:18:21,562
-It�s empty!

454
00:18:21,662 --> 00:18:24,102
-Yes.
That�s the surprise!

455
00:18:27,401 --> 00:18:29,041
-You need prizes, Mrs. Critch.

456
00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:30,870
You can�t catch flies
without honey.

457
00:18:30,871 --> 00:18:32,570
-The Regatta�s almost over.

458
00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:34,230
Where am I gonna get prizes now?

459
00:18:41,479 --> 00:18:42,819
-Hey, old man.

460
00:18:42,919 --> 00:18:46,618
-Well, look who it isn�t.
Little Miss Red.

461
00:18:46,718 --> 00:18:49,258
Well, I hope
you�ve got your allowance.

462
00:18:49,348 --> 00:18:53,117
-I got money. I�ll take a dollar
on your balloon toss.

463
00:18:53,227 --> 00:18:54,277
-Oh.

464
00:18:56,656 --> 00:18:58,656
-Alright.
Good luck.

465
00:19:00,396 --> 00:19:02,035
-Alright...

466
00:19:02,125 --> 00:19:03,295
I make my own luck.

467
00:19:03,395 --> 00:19:04,445
[chuckles]

468
00:19:10,304 --> 00:19:11,694
-Whoo!
-[crowd exclaims]

469
00:19:12,304 --> 00:19:13,354
[crowd exclaims]

470
00:19:13,355 --> 00:19:16,072
-[squeals]
-[crowd exclaims]

471
00:19:16,073 --> 00:19:17,313
-I win.

472
00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:19,113
Three large prizes.

473
00:19:19,213 --> 00:19:21,112
-It�s- it�s impossible!

474
00:19:22,852 --> 00:19:25,492
You must be cheating.

475
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:26,681
-How do you know that?

476
00:19:26,781 --> 00:19:29,281
-Because I�m cheating.

477
00:19:29,381 --> 00:19:31,011
-[gasps]
-These are all rigged.

478
00:19:31,051 --> 00:19:33,820
There�s no way you could
ever win at these games!

479
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,690
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Metaphorically speaking!

480
00:19:36,790 --> 00:19:39,559
No, no, no, no, no.
It�s just a figure of speech!

481
00:19:39,659 --> 00:19:40,959
Ha-ha!
Oh...

482
00:19:46,898 --> 00:19:48,738
Another round!
Hit me.

483
00:19:52,337 --> 00:19:53,637
[Mark panting]

484
00:19:53,737 --> 00:19:55,377
-Hard day at the office?

485
00:19:55,477 --> 00:19:57,176
-I got beaten up...

486
00:19:57,276 --> 00:19:58,476
Chased...

487
00:19:58,576 --> 00:19:59,626
A dog bit me.

488
00:20:01,346 --> 00:20:02,396
But I didn�t give up.

489
00:20:03,885 --> 00:20:05,755
-I know.
I�ve been watching you.

490
00:20:05,845 --> 00:20:08,444
You got a good work ethic.

491
00:20:08,554 --> 00:20:10,324
Better than
a lot of people I know.

492
00:20:12,384 --> 00:20:13,434
-Hey.

493
00:20:13,454 --> 00:20:14,793
-I�m proud of you, Mark.

494
00:20:14,794 --> 00:20:16,862
You finally learned
the value of a dollar.

495
00:20:16,863 --> 00:20:19,363
Oh, that reminds me.

496
00:20:19,463 --> 00:20:20,702
Here you go.

497
00:20:20,792 --> 00:20:23,132
Paid in full
for an honest day�s work.

498
00:20:23,232 --> 00:20:25,302
You know what
you�re gonna spend it on?

499
00:20:28,831 --> 00:20:30,001
-I got an idea.

500
00:20:30,101 --> 00:20:36,340
?

501
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:37,540
-Pfft...

502
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,779
?

503
00:20:40,879 --> 00:20:43,219
-That�s for you.

504
00:20:43,220 --> 00:20:44,347
For you!

505
00:20:44,348 --> 00:20:45,888
-[chuckles]

506
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:47,278
-Oh...

507
00:20:47,388 --> 00:20:49,358
ADULT MARK (V.O.): What good
is a day off

508
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:51,787
 without a day�s work
to give it sweetness?

509
00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:55,287
-[glass shatters]
-Woo!

510
00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:58,286
?

511
00:20:58,396 --> 00:20:59,636
-Thank you.

512
00:20:59,637 --> 00:21:02,124
ADULT MARK (V.O.): We don�t
all have to do great things

513
00:21:02,125 --> 00:21:05,265
if we manage to do small things
in a great way.

514
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:07,764
-Oh... ice cream!

515
00:21:09,674 --> 00:21:12,444
Hey, two, please.
Double scoop.

516
00:21:12,534 --> 00:21:14,173
-Oh!
Big spender.

517
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,323
-It�s payday.

518
00:21:15,403 --> 00:21:16,903
-[chuckles]

519
00:21:16,904 --> 00:21:19,042
ADULT MARK (V.O.): The rewards
you actually earn

520
00:21:19,043 --> 00:21:20,782
taste all the sweeter.

521
00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:26,581
?

522
00:21:26,681 --> 00:21:30,951
?

523
00:21:31,051 --> 00:21:34,450
?

524
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,999
?

525
00:21:38,089 --> 00:21:43,958
?

526
00:21:44,068 --> 00:21:47,338
?

527
00:21:47,438 --> 00:21:51,377
?

528
00:21:51,427 --> 00:21:55,977
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